Ask For Everything, Expect Nothing
Holding people to their word is important in a world where someone’s ‘word’ is meaning less and less every day. Ask for everything, expect nothing.
‘How can you give without expectation of anything in return? Easy. Don’t give because you feel like you have to, give because you want to.’
This idea of karma is only so true. It stretches so far and is not something to rely on.
Persistence and value are two factors to achieving what you want.
What you think will bring you greater value than the person giving you the opportunity.
My journey to giving without expecting has been long and winding.
Not an easy route and one that everyone must struggle with before realising what actually matters.
And what is that thing that matters the most?
Your happiness and wellbeing.
Too many times we put our happiness in other people’s hands.
It’s not their responsibility nor their fault for dampening your mood if you do that.
It’s your fault for trusting that people will always be able to help.
They have their own life and own problems.
It’s not a rant against people in general.
I think there are some very articulate, emotionally intelligent and interesting individuals that do the exact same thing.
We all do.
Subconsciously or instinctively.
We’re taught to take care of ourself and then others.
I, as well as many others, for many years had it twisted.
It’s right and just to look after yourself.
Be healthy, happy and sane.
Then look after others.
This is especially important when you’re asking for something from someone.
I took this picture in Paris during my visit to the OECD in June.
I was working for a business intelligence company at the time.
I saw that I could go for free attendance to this event.
It would give me the chance to learn more on an international scale and to see my French friend from America in Paris.
I asked my boss and he was very busy and passed it off.
In any situation when you want something from someone, you must explain two things:
- Why you’re so persistent
- The value it will bring you and the company/organisation/ person you’re asking it from
Persistence
I don’t think persistence in business or professional development is a sign of weakness.
It’s a sign of proactivity and buzz.
If you’re seeking new things and asking for advice, it shows that you care about the future and the opinion of those who you seek the advice from.
Emails is a great example.
Business professionals are busy people.
Constantly darting around the world by answering and organising through email.
You need to be persistent and patient.
Getting back transcripts from dissertation people is a nightmare but you have to give these professionals time.
Persistence is also an anti-barrier mechanism.
Persistence shows that you don’t care about any hypothetical barriers on your path to success.
You will stop at nothing to better yourself.
People will respect that. People will see the fire that they have (or once had) in themselves.
Persistence is important and often undervalued.
Value
What will you gain?
What will you be able to do that you weren’t before?
What is it that I gain from it?
These questions will be asked to you for any events you want to attend.
I provided value by saying I could write articles in the last few days of employment.
I wrote two articles for the company and had twenty pages of notes on recent news and forthcoming announcements.
Invaluable to the company.
I provided social media while I was there for the team to relay live.
Value value value.
I gained contacts and learnt more about the industry from an NGO and start up perspective as well as an intergovernmental.
Now how does that relate to not expecting?
If you are proactive, you also know that things come and go.
There’s always a new opportunity, a better person for the job or whatever the case may be.
So why expect to get something?
There’s no point raising expectations because you spent time and effort applying.
Hundreds or thousands did.
I only give because I don’t expect in return.
Now anyway.
Before was different, I was bound to the giving and it was detrimental for me.
If you don’t ask you don’t get.
But you shouldn’t expect to get, just because you asked.
It’s not special to ask and it’s not unique — it’s common sense.
Each one of us embodies some form of entitlement.
The believing we should get something just because we applied is wrong.
Others might be better suited.
All applying does is allow you face rejection, grow and move on.
Not get disheartened but invigorated.
I wrote an article for a Cambridge Competition earlier this year. I received 11/35 for my article.
I just wrote more and published blogs every day.
One person didn’t like it. So what?
One person’s opinion shouldn’t dictate your life.
For too long, I was on the other end of that.
Pleasing everyone (to one person’s observation, just to fit in) and it led me to anxiety counselling (amongst other things).
Treat yourself with respect. Give to others. Expect nothing because you gave out the kindness of your own heart.
Ask for everything, expect nothing