Character Over Adversity
There is a tremendous amount to learn from acquaintances, let alone your closest friends. A gently applied reality check proves character over adversity.
‘Facebook posts and discarded letters are useless when you write every day and write more emotionally and influentially long-form.’
George turns over another year in his life today and to avoid the traditional, sometimes overplayed social media celebration — I decided to be more creative with my approach.
Yes, he’s one year older and probably one year less wise.
I kid of course, but he still retains his foolish charisma while maintaining friendships with everyone who doesn’t excessively annoy him.
The last few months tested George’s reserve but while the healing will continue to take place — I think it’s safe to say his character will prove victorious in this battle.
This is a somewhat tricky blog to write because of the nature of my friendship with George. It’s not particularly conforming to social norms nor is it dysfunctional. I think the phrase I’m looking for is that there is a ‘mutual understanding’.
Naturally, we get along due to our synonymous sarcastic personalities which allow us to have jokes with others thinking we’re delusional.
When you talk to someone every day in some capacity, whether on text message or in person, you learn a thing or two about them — which could be a benefit to the friendship or not.
Before meeting George, I definitely didn’t feel particularly challenged to maintain a friendship; everyone conformed to norms, and it wasn’t a task to manoeuvre situations.
I quickly learnt that George was unapologetically himself.
He didn’t care about others opinions and did what he wanted when he wanted to do it.
Although, at first, it came across arrogant and omniscient soon enough I realised it was quite the opposite.
He is human and just needed to be able to trust someone to open up and ‘act human’.
When someone is themselves in every situation, it becomes difficult to find a purpose for yourself. In a world where everyone assumes a false identity to conform — his approach refreshed my vision of others.
Personally, I dealt with identity crises during my nineteenth year alive and since meeting, conversing and having the privilege to be in the company of George — I haven’t had such issues since.
So, I guess the first point I learnt was the ability to be yourself and let others adapt to you.
He told me, much later after we met, that he saw me as an all-singing and an all-dancing people pleaser. I suppose I was. No longer do I perform that character. He was more than right in fact. The people pleasing led me to seek counselling where I cared for other above myself impinging on my own social development.
It was a strong first judgement, and subconsciously I’ve trusted his instinct after that.
The second one and I think probably the most integral to practising the lessons from counselling is to be blunter.
Speak your mind.
State your point.
Be confident in your decision and be honest and real with others.
The only person you hurt when you conceal the truth or your emotions is yourself.
The old saying goes:
‘Ignorance is bliss.’
But I suppose the add on to that is this:
‘Ignorance is bliss only if both parties are safe from harm.’
Typically, I wasn’t safe from harm — my thoughts slowly chipped away at my confidence and my reserve.
Those are the two things I’ve learnt in the last year and a half:
1. Be yourself and never say sorry for that
2. Be blunt and be honestly real
While it’s impossible to practice what you preach all the time, George has a consistent track record of doing the above.
It defines his character, and while I want to be my own person, you’re only as good as your support system, and I think it’s integral to learn from others — especially the ones you share genuine companionship with on a daily basis.
It’s another year, one to look forward and one with a few less familiar faces; however, I do not doubt George’s progression.
One of the strongest academics I know and analytical to a fault — characteristics desirable to any employer.
Personal development-wise he’s got some growing to do (but who hasn’t), and I think if I can be half the friend he strives to be for me — there will be no limit to his growth.
This year made an imprint on George in more ways than one, and the next will continue to do the same.
Happy Birthday George!
Class A example of character of adversity.