Discussing Disappointment
Disappointment is the feeling when you don’t get the satisfaction from something. I’ve experienced it and want to discuss disappointment.
‘It’s people I don’t expect from, but when it’s unexpected and completely irrelevant until that moment it can be hard to swallow’
Expecting the unexpected is hard in practice.
Especially when your focus is turned away from even dealing with it.
We learn how to deal with heated and abrasive situations with practice.
Dealing with it civilly and amicably is the best for both parties even if this isn’t the aim of one of the parties.
I’ve learned the hard way through countless encounters than less-than-educated golfers who didn’t agree with my being or my stickling for the rules.
Honesty doesn’t always pay off in the short term, but a build up of honesty creates a rather strong integrity that no-one can strip from you.
I get disappointed in two ways:
- Failing to meet my own expectations I set myself
- Unprecedented aspects of closed occurrences that come alive again
Today I want to talk about the latter.
It’s not a major concern but it’s annoying and hard to come to terms with.
Last night, one of my best interviews from my dissertation research pulled out without reason.
I had spent several hours transcribing their lengthy interview and it felt like a kick in the teeth.
While I’m aware that their comments were controversial and could land them in trouble if quoted, it was an issue that was resolved over three months ago.
It’s hard to not feel a bit deflated after this happens.
The intellectuality of thought and uniqueness of their words created a storytelling vibe which I want to replicate in my body of work.
I don’t class disappointment and failure as the same, but they’re pretty close.
Because I have a switch in my head which says failure may be negative short term, and positive long term — I like the group the two events together.
Disappointment is a quick reaction and is over in a matter of hours.
It only perpetuates itself if you start to blame others for your shortcomings.
While sometimes it’s hard to see past structural blockades that aren’t initially your fault, it is just another event.
I have a specific way to deal with things.
Learning from my anxiety counselling, it’s important to write or speak my concerns because if it’s an issue, I am then accountable for my words.
Disappointment isn’t something to be ashamed of and it can be taken in private or public, whichever allows you to deal with it the best.
I can’t change the actions of that interviewee.
I can’t question their decision.
I must accept and be confident in the rest of my dataset.
It’s not something to worry about or spend too much time on, but these things need mentally cataloguing and addressing.
I don’t agree when people say you can just forget.
It doesn’t work like that.
Building up sour emotion is a killer, literally; it instils resentment and reinforces and perpetuates negativity.
So it’s good to address it in whatever way you feel comfortable.
For me, it’s writing.
It helps me to heal and to prioritise.
I wanted to discuss disappointment as a segway to understanding how we react to things.
We overreact and under-react at the worst of times.
We misjudge situations and carry self-centred metrics with us wherever we go.
This all affects our behaviour and how we handle situations.
For me, the best way is to internalise in the moment and spill out in writing when I’m more clear in thought.
I deal best with it this way, you might be different.
But don’t keep it in your system.
Disappointment. Failure.
It’s short term.
Your long term is the determined by your reaction to your mis-reaction or your shortcoming.
Discussing disappointment