FOM: Focusing On Myself
Deep work, concentration on oneself? Is it even possible? We’re often quick to criticise others and deprecate ourselves. Now, I want to learn to focus on me.
I struggle focusing on myself.
I really do struggle.
For the longest time, I didn’t think anyone focused anytime on me so I thought that I shouldn’t either.
Sounds silly, I know. But I was four or five years younger when I had that mindset.
Wait… what has happened in those four or five years where you still haven’t done anything?
I’ve been learning about myself. I’ve been giving myself to chance to shine in an environment that didn’t want me to shine.
I have been creating the platform to express myself freely and with limited criticism.
So… why now?
As part of my decision to change, one of those aspects is my mind. I personally think that’s the hardest one to adjust.
Anyone can change their body and I don’t feel like I have to change my heart.
Mind is key. It’s very well-written that if you have a stable mind you’re more than likely to succeed (whatever your definition of success may be).
I want to focus on myself more. Does that mean focus on others less? There has to be some give and some take.
However, in my career and professional life I just pile on and on — reaching a point where I’m so stressed that I can’t cope anymore. I crash momentarily and then seconds later my mind goes into overload and completes every task that haunted me. Healthy? Probably not but it has willed me on to continue to improve.
If I’m to adopt a model of give and take in my personal life, I have to switch programmes and make sure that I separate the body training from the mind training.
It may seem as though these two things are related but perhaps I can unhinge them and work on them individually.
I don’t feel as though I focus on others as much as I did last year. That’s an improvement at least. I still focus on people that don’t want to reciprocate that appreciation. That’s a flaw.
I need to take better care of my appearance, which I have been successful in doing so. I don’t just try and dress to impress but my overall appearance has improved as well. I think so anyway and I suppose that’s where the issue is highlighted.
If I think I’m doing better then I will want to continue the momentum. I always say that I don’t care what people say. I’ve also said that I’m a walking contradiction.
Of course I care, it affects me. Sometimes more than it should. I think that’s natural. Caring less from people who are peripheral is what needs to be improved.
I want to focus on myself, how?
- Understand that being physically alone is good for my mental health
- Know that I always have a friend a text or a phone call away if I need some urgent help
- Practice deep work and true deep thinking
- Stay open-minded about people until otherwise proven
- Understand that I’m a walking personal brand which receives better reputation the more people I meet
I think the key to knowing yourself and staying true is vulnerability. Not fearing putting yourself out there.
So I guess the key to focusing on yourself lies with playing on your strengths.
Others will pick out your flaws. As much as your work on your flaws — you’ll never be truly satisfied.
People like you for you otherwise they wouldn’t hang out with you. Focus on being that better version of you.
Better by your means and no-one else. Don’t compromise yourself for anyone.
After all, you’ve got to put up with yourself for the rest of your life.