NIP: No-one Is Perfect
Stopping yourself from comparing yourself to others is one of the hardest bad habits to break. Today I questioned myself and explored my flaws.
People, especially millennials, are very good at showing their picture-perfect lives and positive moments — even in public.
Everyone has their own baggage. Some carry it round with them everywhere, others hide it. No-one is perfect. No-one.
Take a couple in a relationship, when they are out on the streets (in the public eye) all is well and content. Behind closed doors, it could be a different more sinister scene.
Relatedly, we often see what we want to see. Especially if we’re in a low mood, or not feeling very confident about ourselves, we often filter other people’s reality.
There has been a sort-of domino effect which leads to the topic of this blog. A quick run through goes as follows:
10AM: I had my first appointment with the osteopathy near my home. The osteopath was excellently-spoken and stereotypes would pertain him being from a richer neighbourhood or privately-educated.
It made me question my professional voice, whether I could ditch the Cockney I picked up in the golf club or the slang I use at university to present myself appropriately in the real world.
1PM: Arrived at the National Portrait Gallery in Trafalgar Square to witness some of the best artwork in the world. I’ve never been able to appreciate fine art. However — the brushwork, the precision and the quality of the artwork makes you question your purpose in life.
There were thousands of artists during the Renaissance and only a few made it big. What am I comfortable achieving? Do I need to re-think? Am I good enough?
That’s all that I really thought about throughout the rest of the day, filled with a meeting and a catch-up with UT friends.
Personally, I feel I have some major flaws. As I work and grow everyday, I try to break the bad habits. Although they might be defining features, I can imagine they are irritable to others.
While I’m someone who says openly that I don’t care what others think of me; in a personal, academic or professional sense — I do compare myself to others.
I think my flaws are quite general and not uncommon but the personalities that I often compare myself to, don’t have these flaws.
No. I’m not trying to be someone else. I want to be myself. I find myself annoying and I can see why others might too. That’s why I actively want to change or suppress them.
Directly related to that is holding my tongue at the opportunity of quick-witted jokes. Sometimes they aren’t appropriate nor relevant, but for the benefit of a quick laugh I can’t resist. I kick myself after making them. While it shows a functioning of my cognitive senses, it’s something that I want to be able to control.
Stupidly and probably wrongly, I feel it diminishes people’s opinions of me. While I appreciate not everyone thinks this deeply about these sort of things, the frequency at which I make these jokes can often be excruciating and boring. The problem is that this quality has defined my personality. Perhaps it doesn’t need fixing, but it could certainly become a problem later in life.
The second is one more personal. I know and appreciate the value of time. It’s something I wanted to write a separate blog about this very topic. However, I often fixate my time too finely on certain area.
That area, nowadays, never seems to be university work. I have submitted my article to the big newspapers and magazines in London for the Cambridge University competition, now I just have to wait.
I have internships to apply for before the end of the month and a final shortlist application to complete. But, I also have a literature review due on 16th February. The last few days, while I should balance university work between social activities and journalism — the percentages have been awfully skewed. Journalism has taken 70% and social activities a further 25%, leaving just a meagre 5% for university work.
This is one flaw that needs to be fixed. Time management, not to eliminate procrastination but more to instigate it. Procrastination happens when you’re bored, I haven’t been bored recently. It means I haven’t focused energy where I should be.
Lastly, I need to open my world to accept people who are genuine friends. The ones who always support and actually tell me when I do something stupid. The barrier I have upheld for so long has allowed me to be determined, take criticism but never acknowledge praise. When people tell me I’ve done well, I don’t register it. I have always felt the world is against me, the world doesn’t want me to do well. Almost DJ Khaled-like.
These flaws define me today. I will grow up. Mature (if I haven’t enough, according to some people). I’ll learn. I’ll experience. I’ll live.
I’ve used my flaws in the past for benefits today, maybe one day I’ll look back on this blog and laugh at how I looked at myself.
The future is bright mainly because I’ve identified what will make it dim.