Off

Yesterday I felt tired.

But I omitted that I also felt lonely.

Tiredness and loneliness are hard emotions to process on their own.

Combined, they elicit a response which leaves you motionless.

That feeling petered into today.

I felt off.

Burnout? Maybe.

Anxious? Who knows.

But I let myself feel it. I didn’t fight it. I tried to do work, did a little.

It didn’t let it consume me, but play in the background.

Being off, feeling off, accepting off is better than suppression.

I guess I share this to try and feel better.

But I also share it to make myself know that it’s okay to feel this way.

It’s the natural course of emotions.

I didn’t try and rationalise it.

Because it’s pointless.

I guess because it’s a combination unique to the backdrop of success I’ve felt this month.

In celebration also comes down time.

This weekend is that downtime.

Time to recollect.

Refocus.

Readjust.

I felt lonely, and I felt tired.

I still feel both, but in a lesser measure, I will now work.

12 hours after I meant to begin.

And that’s okay.

Off