PRD: Power Role Dynamic
Hierarchy is real. The suppressive notions of hierarchy are evident. They were made evident to me today. I felt out of my depth for sure — but not scared.
Fresh-faced, ignorant and ready.
The third word in that phrase is key. I was ready. Unfazed and relatively confident.
The conference today was a build-up of the work I had done for my internship. It is one of three events I’ll be a part of and I wanted to make a good first impression. Especially to those I have spoken to over the phone in the past.
I knew what was in store. I knew my role. My purpose was clear.
My role in terms of communicating with guests was more abstract however.
I had to take notes and mingle with guests in order to help facilitate the writing of a report on the back of the event.
The conference was about energy storage. A technical topic with varying moving parts and different perspectives on next steps.
I have no background in energy storage.
I didn’t know it existed before working here.
My lack of knowledge works in my favour for these corporations.
I’m seen as the consumer and my education levels is almost representative of the work (or lack of) that these companies have done in order to educate the market.
These weren’t normal conversations.
It wasn’t a friend of mine. These people were CEOs, CFOs, VPs of large, multi-national corporation with millions of pounds in turnover.
They know what they’re talking about.
I suppose that’s where a personal barrier had to be broken.
I felt insufficiently educated and lesser to these indivduals.
They weren’t all ‘big boss’ characters. Some were very genuine people whom you could imagine having a drink with on a social basis.
I tried to impart my own knowledge based on research, previous interviews and my ignorance.
That’s a life lesson I suppose. Using your ignorance to your advantage.
I asked questions that were outwardly stupid and not relevant but my genuine interest and willingness to learn from these industry experts was appreciated.
The look where someone tilts their head and tries to comprehend what you’re saying was a common theme today.
My goal is to try and return their head position to normal before I end my question or statement.
That’s normally through a concession of my ignorance (which they’ve already probably judged anyway).
It’s almost like I was controlled by them.
I spoke to one gent who wasn’t much older than me. We spoke about university and I spoke to him about aspects of the energy market that interested me. He gave me his card and told me to get in touch if I wanted a career in energy.
That’s a small success. I had three or four of those throughout the day.
It’s somewhat weird to sit next to CEOs.
I felt a sense of loss of belonging.
I had every right to be there of course.
My name was on the attendee list.
I had my own name badge and these CEOs approached me.
I was valued. I was wanted.
But.
I didn’t felt like I belonged.
I was out of my depth by a long way.
I sat next to a CEO from the USA. We laughed, shared a joke or two about the States and the difference in energy markets. These whimsical cues showed I perhaps wasn’t as ignorant as I perceive myself to be.
Whilst I felt controlled. I didn’t feel like I was ever in a position where I couldn’t speak my mind.
These people probably won’t remember me.
They live busy lives and something a guy said from the host won’t stick in their mind.
A negative impression won’t stick. The only one that sticks is a positive one.
Like that guy from that company who said if I needed anything to get in contact. He must have seen some potential that I didn’t in myself.
By writing this out, I have realised what I learned.
That is, quite simply —
Yes, these people are in positions of power.
Yes, they live stressful lives.
No, the corporate life isn’t glamorous nor is it particularly for me.
But.
Yes. I succeeded to break down another stereotype. Another perception smashed.
Connections made. Perspective gained.