I had to choose between how I feel and what I think today.
I’ve noted down what I think elsewhere and might share it one day.
However, today is about how I feel.
The blog is often a melting pot of feelings and thoughts.
Sometimes it’s heavy in thoughts and sometimes it’s the other way.
Today it’s the latter.
The preamble is really just here to entertain my brain.
I’ve not had a good start to the week.
For some reason, despite all my rebellion, I still feel there’s an expectation of me from others.
High productivity, high output.
The only reason I really have high output is due to the diversity of things I do.
But this week I have felt overwhelmed, under-motivated and preoccupied.
My mind cloudy and thoughts foggy.
The only time I’ve developed coherent new ideas is at the dinner table chowing down.
It’s not all the work I have to do.
It’s the worry on my mind.
Something that takes up all my mornings and by afternoon, I’m not sure if I’m any closer.
When something is close in your grasp, that you can almost taste it, that’s when you start to think irrationally.
My brain went into overdrive today, and I just stopped.
Now I feel fine. Lucid even.
In a space of calm.
I also know I need to exercise more.
Sitting at a desk is doing no wonders for my neck.
Need to do something in the morning, something fun.
I may have found a solution — let’s see.
For now, I need to stop thinking of the expectations upon me and start setting expectations for myself.
That’s the only way to kickstart and get in the game.
I’ve got 6 priorities, make that 7 priorities for this week.
That means that there are 7 main tasks that have to be at least tackled this week.
All are ongoing ones; however, they are where I focus my time.
I like to make a little progress each day on each, helps to diversify.
However, after some trial and error, I’ve realised my configuration is not winning me the game of Tetras.
It’s making me lose and lose bad.
Exercise in the morning, badminton in the afternoon and regular breaks. And maybe every other day go for a walk after dinner, before this blog.
I can only do 1 hour chunks, with a 15 minute break or 1.5 hours with 30 mins break. And set a clear goal for that hour.
That’s how I’ll do it.
I need some focus. That comes from purpose.
I need to learn to not let this cloud rain over me for my whole morning.
Plan for it, execute and forget.
Respond when you have to, but don’t agonise.
There’s jobs to do and you’re the man for them.
Funnily enough, internally you want to do them all so it won’t be hard to get going once you’re out of this rut.
Game face on, son.
You’ve got this.