‘It’s the simplest things we forget first. Our keys when we leave the house. Our basic maths skills when we get to working. Our breath when we’re busy and in constant state of alert and stress.’
I remember when I had counselling that when I felt nervous I should think about inhaling blue and green colours. Sounds strange, but you’ll imagine anything to make the anxiety stop.
A blue swimming pool, blue buildings and blue sky — I hope to replicate the state of calm.
For myself more than anyone else.
I’m two days away from completing a fantastic internship.
I’m less than one week from re-launching the Geography Society to students.
I’m two weeks from starting my university education for the final time as an undergraduate.
All the while I’m working on my dissertation, possibly securing a job after my internship and involved in external projects where I’m needed or people see me important to their mission.
I don’t count the blog as work, I don’t see it as work. It’s more relaxation and I get this urge to write when I know time is tight or I may not have time to release a blog — I always find a way.
But that’s also included in the mix.
At times like this, it’s best to sit back and act on that gratitude training I gained from last weekend.
Turning 21 allowed me to be thankful for the people who wished me, the people who dedicate time to my words and those who are around in life too.
I have an incredible amount of things going on right now.
I’m overwhelmed and I realised I do don’t particularly well with excessive attention.
I prefer to be recognised but like that to last briefly and just to move on when appropriate.
I think that comes from the selflessness, I want everyone to have their light.
But I’m sure as I grow, I’ll learn to live with greater attention.
I often forget to breathe when I’m in these states of busyness.
It doesn’t mean that I’m not aware, it just means that I’m not self-conscious of factors that might be self-harming.
Worrying over small details.
Stressing if months worth of plans fall apart.
My main aim for this year is to graduate with a First from univeristy.
Second is to secure onward trajectory from university, whether that be work or a Masters (with relocation or not).
Third is to transform the QMGS and make it renowned within QMUL and out.
So if the stress and worry doesn’t fall into the first aim then it’s clearly not too important.
I always happy to sacrifice pride for progress or happiness.
I’m not saying I’ll have to, but it should be noted that it’s never out of the question.
As we all grow older, want to build our lives, we must stop and breathe.
Take in the environment around us. Look after our mental health. Enjoy activities we love doing. Take care of ourselves.
Because no-one will do this for us.
We’re experts of our emotions; how to hide them and who to reveal them to.
So we also know when we need to look after it. We all subconsciously know.
But it’s about sacrificing pride for progress or happiness, which sounds easy enough, but in practice is one of the hardest choices in humanity today.
Every choice will have regret somewhere down the line, but we must make a choice to first regret it.
Whether we do it or not, it’s a choice.
No-one is telling you do anything. You’re doing it because you want to and feel it will bring value to you and others.
So when you make a decision on behalf of others, you take the burden and the responsibility, but you also take the experience it took you to get to that point.
Don’t count yourself out so easily when things get rough.
There’s someone counting on you to get through it.
I want to remind myself to breathe and always take life with gratitude because I am grateful, privileged and entitled. I’m willing to be beaten by someone who isn’t, if they work harder than I.
If not, then it’s fair game.
I continuously work hard for my wellbeing and to ensure others in my life feel that they can do it, and get them to believe in themselves.
While on this life mission…
Remember to breathe