Sifting Out Good Advice
We’re constantly judged by the world around us and our expectations of how we live within it. Advice is a sticky spot for me. Sifting out good advice.
‘All advice is good advice because it trains you to seek better intellect or more of the same’
When I think about advice and the reams I’ve received over the years, there is one standout point.
My decision to choose Fort Worth as my dissertation research topic.
I emailed a professor at Texas Christian University located in South Fort Worth asking for advice and direction.
He returned with an extensive email saying that I should make some reconsiderations about my choice.
I had no idea what I was getting into, he said. He said I won’t find anything.
Being new and blurry-eyed to the world of academic research, I assumed the hierarchical submissive position and booked an emergency meeting with my advisor.
I was going to change to transport in London which probably would’ve turned out to be a terrible project from a personal standpoint.
More pub talk than academic prestige.
It was quite the meeting when I saw this professor in the flesh.
He told me that he had extreme concerns about my wellbeing despite reassuring him that I had accommodation and family in the area.
That was a defining moment in the journey to understand when to take advice and when not to.
When to be wary of the intentions of someone. Not always assuming that they have your best interests.
They may have their version of your best interests that may wildly differ from your own.
I think there are some simple lessons to understanding if the advice is going to help you or not.
Criticism too.
The first is to do with experience. Experience doesn’t always equal correctness. It equals a successful option. But there are usually many paths and options that one can take.
Taking this Fort Worth case. The Anthropology professor lived in Fort Worth but his research focused on Mexico. Not Fort Worth.
Years of academic research (in another region of interest) and living in a city as any civilian doesn’t quite constitute to the same experience.
But he did have an ability to sniff out a good idea, once properly explained to him.
A more positive example is when my first year tutor told me to start a blog if I wanted to get into journalism.
Her job was to advise on best practice, even if she doesn’t have knowledge.
I took her advice and look where it has all gotten to.
She had the expertise in standard pathways and entries into a profession.
The second thing is approach.
The way the person approaches you and how they speak is very important.
Whether they approach you in the sense that what they could do for you or what they know might change the outcome to someone listening and engaging.
This Fort Worth example, he cared enough for my wellbeing. He cared to ask the infrastructural questions before questioning the research hypothesis.
The ‘here’s what I know strategy’ only works if you have the evidence to support it.
Words don’t fly anymore. Action and evidence does.
We all get a ton of advice and criticism.
Criticism is a harder one to unpick because it plays on the blame game, hierarchical insecurities and personal imperfections.
From a professional, academic and even personal standpoint people will always have an opinion.
It’s their freedom of speech right to have one, but doesn’t mean you have to accept it or implement it.
You can always be outdone by someone who has out-researched you.
But you can never doubt yourself in situations that are most poignant to your progression.
Sifting out good advice