The Jigsaw Problem
Spending a day making a jigsaw puzzle might seem irrelevant but, I think there is something to takeaway. Something that we could all learn from.
‘Surrendering your day to growth, no strings attached, is often harder than what it appears on the tin. It’s not easy to see the benefits when you start, just wait for the adversity and you’ll see how tough you actually are. When it’s easier to stop than to continue. You’ll see and probably be surprised.’
One thousand jigsaw pieces completed in under twelve hours by three people. Some more committed than others are certain parts of the day.
However, this story takes me back a few years.
More than a few actually.
It takes me back to a time of lonely summers and limited access to the digital world.
Growing up as an only child, I often found creative ways to entertain myself.
I had to.
But, I built up a culture. A culture and habit of not finishing things.
I would spend a whole day doing something and not want to continue it the next day.
Series of unfinished novels, poetry, drawings and puzzles.
I grew up thinking that escaping the responsibility of finishing what you start is not only acceptable, but the considered better option.
To this day, I still struggle with such habit.
I have brainwaves for ideas, start them with excitement and they soon peter out.
There was no accountability. No-one to hold me responsible.
I had to do it on my own enthusiasm and sustain it.
I think that was my problem.
No-one cared what I did, so why do it?
Being an only child, you automatically assume the people pleaser role.
You have this itch you want to scratch.
You need the attention and feel you deserve it for being in their company.
It leads to arrogance, entitlement and other problems that make social serenity difficult to come-by.
Each only child has their own unique issues to overcome.
I’m aware of the psychology that affects families of larger sizes too.
Every kid has their own burdens, as much as their parents try to provide the best for them.
Our parents do the best they can, they give us love — these are more systemic and look at the intricacies of the human wiring.
Getting back to the idea of not finishing something.
The ease of leaving the task to the next day or dropping it altogether seems rather appealing when you get bored.
Boredom is a result of self-doubt and free time.
Procrastination is a micro-version of boredom (for all intensive purposes) — it’s shorter in duration while boredom can last years or even decades.
Boredom is associated with a ‘rut’-like state, anxiety and depression.
Such a mild word can have serious implications.
Inherently, not finishing something can lead to these same thoughts.
Worthlessness. Belittlement.
I think trying to solve and master a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle all these years later, with two others, presented a neat paradox.
The battling all old demons yet the self-growth and emotional maturity.
I said early on that this would be a great way to build teams and provide an excellent tool for resilience-building.
This was as we put together the edges.
Halfway through, my cousin and I took a break.
I wrote yesterday’s blog about the honky tonk and called my parents.
When I got back, my cousin was back at it.
In terms of raw time, it took just under twelve hours.
In terms of actual time, it was a lot less.
Towards the end, I still saw large expanses. Gaps that I felt would never get filled.
I thought back to what I would’ve done all those years ago.
I probably would’ve left it there and found something else to occupy my time — maybe Lego.
This time I persevered.
I tried to use familiarities like words, faces and flat colours to help out.
I always wanted something to focus on, whether it be the lavender in the foreground or the people in the left corner.
I knew if I could focus, my mind would pick out those pieces over any other.
It was a battle.
I wanted to just leave it and worry it about the next day.
I reminded myself about the amount of work I had to do the next day.
That I didn’t want to have to make the painful choice.
I definitely haven’t conquered the demons.
I have made some progress.
I look at the problems more objectively and from a point of introspection.
I think I quite like making puzzles now.
The jigsaw problem.