Truth About Being Single
Not a topic that is talked about a lot, not one that I care too much about, but one that comes up now and again. Here’s the truth about being single.
‘I don’t see it as an empty space, but as an avenue yet to be explored.’
It’s now under a month until reaching the 365 blog mark.
Exciting times.
Today, I’m going to address something that I’ve only covered briefly before.
Inspired by numerous conversations during QMGS committee dinner tonight, I thought it be right to bring it up now.
I’m single.
Have always been.
Never been close enough to someone to know that special feeling.
Sob story? No.
Explainable? Yes.
Let me elaborate.
I mention how my parents are culturally-liberal.
But they were still hard on academics.
I was expected to go to school, university and into a job.
I was told to focus on other things later, as I wouldn’t get this time back.
I agree that this time won’t return.
I’ve enjoyed growing and learning, meeting people that changed my perspective and listened to me.
Historically, I’ve been an anxious person.
Not usually seen in places that put me outside of my comfortable zone socially.
So there’s an argument that I’ve never been in a place to find love.
But I have managed to do a lot with my time.
A lot I may not have been able to do otherwise.
I know what interests me and what doesn’t.
I know who I am, more than I ever did before.
University has given me so much.
For me, because I’ve never been in a relationship — I don’t know how it feels.
I can’t empathise with heartbreak.
I don’t understand nor appreciate those lows.
I don’t experience the highs of togetherness, unity and companionship.
I don’t know those highs and lows.
I’ve been there for friends through both.
But I’m always told it’s different.
It’s never really bothered me.
Finding love.
Because in a way, I’ve become familiar with love being temporary.
Increasingly, I hear stories of infedility.
But it doesn’t discourage me.
For some months, I tried to find someone.
I didn’t so much as give up, as I refocused.
I took the rejections as a sign to realign.
Rather than seeing just the good in others, I started to reflect and see it in myself.
For the first time, I retrospectively understood why I’m a good person and why I’m capable of greatness.
I stopped worrying about others.
I stopped actively looking for someone to make me great, I just made myself great.
That was at the beginning of 2018.
I’m of the belief that you have to get started, whether others join or not is not relevant.
Rather that you get going.
When I was searching, I didn’t see the good in myself.
I went off others opinions rather than making a case for myself.
While this year has been equally as love-lacklustre, it doesn’t bother me nearly as much.
What I’ve achieved during university was unimaginable at the end of school.
I didn’t care about myself at all.
I had been through the worst of it and just didn’t take any notice.
I didn’t see the battle as alive, but dead.
There was no mountain to climb.
But when I started to look further afield, past myself, then I realised how much of a mountain I still needed to climb.
I would say I’m halfway.
I put myself in positions that are more desirable.
I’ve done more for myself and tried to help everyone after the fact.
I feel confident in myself for the first time.
I know my value and my worth.
And that’s priceless.
So what’s the truth about being single?
I’m happy. Content.
I don’t need more.
Although a relationship would be nice.
I’m not yearning it like I once did.
For me, the journey to find someone has led me to find myself.
Truth about being single