WICS: Why I Couldn’t Start
There are a million articles out there about the taking the first step. It’s importance and necessity. Here’s why I couldn’t and why you can’t either.
That’s my signature. Faded I know.
I remember the origins of that signature. The importance I thought it would prove to have in my life. It hasn’t quite come to fruition but it brings up an important concept to understanding why being different or doing something unordinary takes courage.
Today, I flicked through Instagram. I saw people who I thought ‘wow’, I wish I could be as talented as them. They look like they love what they do and love their life. That reaction is a form of jealousy. It’s natural and I’m not ashamed to have such impression.
Here’s the thing.
They wanted that life. I can’t say that it wasn’t imposed. Just because I wasn’t pushed into golf and others who were turned out to be equally successful at a young age like me, doesn’t mean that the debate is so black and white. In more cases than not, they worked hard for that life.
Whilst it is Instagram, social media where everyone (most people) put a happy face on to shade over the negativity in their lives — I was influenced enough to make my previous reaction.
My jealousy stems from the fact that I perceive them to be born with genetics that tend to them being athletic or artistic. It may have something to do with that but that’s not all. I didn’t see the process, only the result.
That’s where I think society is flawed. I have mentioned this before, I’ll mention it now and probably highlight it again in the future.
The process is important. It begins with the willingness to start. It’s true and cliche but if you don’t start you don’t know where it could take you.
Our vision of success is the endpoint. We’re never willing to sacrifice the hours of social time and other distractions to aspire to similar heights.
“I’ll never be as successful as them”
“What’s the point?”
“Let me just sit in my comfort zone and life will just happen”
“Whatever will be, will be”
It’s all crap. It’s an excuse. When it comes to your own life and your own success, you have to go and reach for it.
Fail often, have fun with it and embrace it.
I had this realisation for the fiftieth time this year. But, this one feels a little more resilient. I finally understand why I can’t do that morning and night time routine. Why I can’t get into shape.
Yes, it’s my mindset. But it’s also my arrogance. I don’t want to admit that someone is doing better than me in something that I’m not an expert in.
I watch countless YouTube videos about all these things and while I try very hard to do it, I can’t sustain it longer than a day.
But I did keep one thing for myself. This blog. No-one I had watched or been influenced by was doing the same. Vlogs yes but not written word.
I have a strong desire to be the first to do everything. What I realise now is that life won’t always allow you to be that first person. It’s okay to copy others and be comfortable being the pupil rather than the master.
Sitting back and learning is possible. It’s healthy actually. Maybe I’ll want that life after listening and accepting other’s philosophies. Maybe I won’t. But at least I gave it the time of day.
The title of this blog is in the past because today I started my last idea. I had been waiting it out — mainly because I couldn’t deal with the fact that I was probably going to fail. I didn’t want to endure hours of pain just for someone to reject me at the end.
I got over it after the realisation. Something that I didn’t think I would ever do. It’s an ambition that is two years in the making and will take about the same time to become reality.
So, I suppose I couldn’t start because I couldn’t get over myself.
I didn’t want to be seen as socially-outward to myself. I didn’t care what others said. I got over that a long time ago.
Until I have another idea, I won’t know if this training has worked.
While I do want to get in better shape and I do want to play better golf — there are people who want it more right now.
I’ll stick to writing and when I truly want to get to where I want to in those other fields I’ll employ the same strengths as I do here.
I must say, realising a flaw in your personality hurts. It’s not easy to admit. I think this blog has made me grow an expedited rate with the same experiences.
We all have to start somewhere, mine started by identifying flaws.
It’s your turn.