You Matter
Mental health isn’t something to be highlighted on one day. It’s a constant battle and it’s okay; everyone suffers. But it’s not lonely. You matter.
‘Not all life’s problems are solvable and it’s foolish to think them as so. Sometimes it’s about learning how you best adapt and passing on best practice. A lot of the world’s problems can be managed in this way. Mental health being so self-centred, we struggle to apply this approach.’
When you’re born, the midwife marks down the date, time and your weight.
They add the name at a later stage once confirmed.
From minute zero, you’re on the books.
You matter.
There is a society at Queen Mary called Unity. A new society raising awareness about mental health and starting a conversation on it. I wish they existed sooner and am so happy to be involved with their work.
They are setting up a bunch of sessions throughout the year to talk about all things mental health.
If you need an ear to listen to, in confidence, you can find your relief with Unity.
Check them out:
It’s okay to not be okay
Mental health is the elephant in the room.
The taboo topic we mustn’t talk about for fear of rejection, disapproval or worse.
We rely on others to support us but they may not understand nor suffer themselves.
But I think that’s a blatant lie.
Everyone suffers. Our only commonality with those who remain quiet?
At one point or other, we all suffered in silence.
Many of millions still do. Many people take their own life out of the fear of disclosing.
The fear of being human and vulnerable, but isn’t that the point?
We’re told to chase big dreams. We’re told to aim higher than the mountains and ‘sky’s the limit’.
So why don’t we apply it?
The fear of rejection, the anxiety and depression of not fitting in stops us from living, and sometimes takes our life away from us.
I specifically didn’t write this blog on World Mental Health Awareness Day because, I think it’s equally important to have a sustainable awareness of the issues.
But if you tell someone that they matter, directly or indirectly, then you find a way to make an impact without doing anything extraordinary.
I know people to suffer from mental health issues.
I suffered myself.
I rejected my own symptoms. The sinking stomach, the physical sickness, the psyching myself up for failure, the nervousness.
All the while, I put a smile on my face and was quite the social butterfly.
I ignored my mental health, and it hit me hard.
My story of mental health has been shared umpteen amount of times but starts around the time when I started this blog back in 2016.
Getting horrendously ill in Pakistan made me rethink my purpose. It led me to a mental edge. Miles away from home with a stressful ride home, I wasn’t optimistic about making it back for New Years.
I suffered in silence.
Someone (my Dad and Uncle) sought help for me.
I listened and gained perspective, for the first time in my life, and genuinely didn’t think I was the smartest guy on the planet.
The egotistical nature of my first semester at university soon dissipated and I started to think deeper and more meaningfully about my decisions.
It wasn’t until April 2017 that I sought my own Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) specialist and ironed out the issues.
I didn’t think I mattered.
I do.
So do you.
Although from the moment you’re record on a birth certificate you become merely a number, you also become a member of society.
We all marvel over babies and their cuteness.
For at least the first five years of your life, you’re loved by everyone. Onlookers, family, friends of friends. Everyone loves your innocence. Soon that changes but you are loved. You are still loved.
You matter.
The problem is that everyone thinks that other people matter more than them.
People reach goals before others. The competitive nature of life makes us deprecate ourselves.
When you realise that you matter the most to yourself, that’s the switch.
It took me two years after my first panic attack to come to terms with loving myself.
Even earlier this year, I wrote a blog about not liking myself.
I was chasing a version of myself that I thought others wanted me to be.
Turns out no-one cared about what I was.
It mattered what I wanted.
It’s a very selfish game mental health — no point worrying about others because it won’t get you anywhere but back where you started.
I matter to me the most.
You matter to you the most.
You matter to me, but not as much as I matter to myself.
‘Me before you’ from the Chuckle Brothers never made more sense.
So you do matter.
Yes, you’re just a number to the government.
You light up someone’s day when you take interest.
You make the city a bustling place to be.
You are a soul in the crowd.
You are also really young. You have a lot of life to live. Not everything is a straight path.
If you think about it, this will be your first of many careers so there is really not much point rushing it.
Take your time and look after yourself.
I use this blog to mentally reflect and I would encourage you to spill out into writing; it’s very therapeutic without doing a lot.
It’s okay to not be okay.
You matter.
Check out Self Space in Shoreditch if you want professional support for relatively inexpensive amounts (especially if you’re a student) in London.