I think I need to be honest with myself about what is happening and how to address it.

This is an old trick but it does work for me.

I should work it when I feel worked.

My head is throbbing today in confusion and annoyance.

However, my heart is ringing true with a lot of messages about my professional and personal state.

Maybe I’m just tired but I feel drained.

Maybe it is the best policy… one we often overlook for ourselves

Honesty

Another year. Another set of words said out loud.

I don’t post too often anymore. Only really to support other people.

But it’s strange how I feel I’ve changed.

How life has changed.

I’ve definitely neglected this outlet.

I do need to use it more.

Not just when I need it but in continuity.

24

The month of my birth is always an interesting one.

I usually have something untoward going on.

I want to briefly reflect on my absence from this platform.

What it represents and how it’s affected me.

I’ve been struggling in many ways to overcome my own fears, doubts and anxiety.

It’s a process; however, I see signs of improvement.

My own expectations are now wavering and certain desires (notably golf) remain in place.

That’s a useful guide to help prioritise and focus on work in the winter while preparing for the season starting in April.

If I can try and make the most of that, I have a good chance going forward.

I think I’ll use this platform to record my thoughts on a regular basis (probably everyday) as I seep back into monotony and structure.

It’s invaluable and even the absences speak to my peace of mind.

September

Unexpected but happy.

Glad something came of the passion this year.

Good to see and hope it continues.

Always learning.

Victory

I forgot how to read.

But progress has been made.

No matter how menial.

It’s pretty boring at this point, but hoping it comes to something.

Progress

Time is really of the essence.

Things are heating up and will soon become uncontrollable if not dealt with properly.

Discipline and structure are going to be key.

Need to get my head in the game and quickly.

Reality

This is what lacked.

Still lacks.

Present continuous… still lacking.

It’s annoying knowing what you have to do yet having no ability to actually do it.

No will.

No motivation.

No discipline.

It can take a psychological toll.

After a good chat with a friend today, I’m ready to start next week with a bang.

Discipline

Knocking down and living life with greater purpose is a form of practice.

Organisation is a key of mine, but recently I’ve lacked motivation, drive or vision.

Life being multifaceted makes it difficult.

I only do 4 things now: PhD, golf, newsletter and sustainability committee.

Pretty binary for me, so finding the right mix is going to be key.

Practice

I’ve been better.

Getting back on my feet.

Still weary of the fact I haven’t done a great deal.

But clarity… that’s something I’m getting close to again.

Better

I really lack it for work.

I’ve been fine the whole year but now I’m struggling.

Procrastination coming too easy.

Will set goals and will achieve them.

Need to stop feeling guilty.

I deserve this.

Motivation

Danial Naqvi

Joint PhD Candidate Business & Management at Manchester & Melbourne| MSc UCL Science, Technology and Society | BA (Hons) QMUL Human Geography |

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